


The Jared Padalecki Guide to Romance.

by sasha_dragon



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-13
Updated: 2013-03-13
Packaged: 2017-12-05 05:21:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/719332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasha_dragon/pseuds/sasha_dragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared had gotten everything ready for the perfect romantic evening - beer, pizza and candlelight.  What could possibly go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Jared Padalecki Guide to Romance.

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: None, except excessive schmoop and a little Jensen abuse.  
> Disclaimer: Here be fiction, folks. This isn’t real nor is it meant to reflect the relationship between the two men, whose names and faces I’m borrowing. This is my very own little take on reality or as I like to think of it now, the wrong trouser leg of time, where our universe and this one split apart and this universe is bathed in a rosy pink hue.  
> Author’s Notes: Once again I’ve been scribbling and as always I have people I wish to thank. First of all to bigj52, a beta without parallel who still puts up with me and tidies up my mess. Now onto the other people I want to thank. To meesasomtimes, my wonderful artist for this noauj2challenge on Live Journal. Much thanks and appreciation goes to aelia1980 for running the aforementioned challenge. I’ve had a great time writing this and I hope that you enjoy reading it. As always, feedback is welcomed, and gratefully received.

Jared swept into the lounge, his mind whirling, filled with inspiration from today’s scenes. They’d filmed Sam and Dean trapping Cas in a ring of holy fire. He decided to take Ben’s use of firelight, and how hot Jensen had looked in its glow as his muse. He’d been overcome with the need to do something romantic. He didn’t want to actually trap Jensen in a ring of flaming holy oil, but he wanted to try and recapture the ambiance of the scene. Besides, if he set fire to the carpet again, Jensen would kill him.

Now he stood in the centre of the room surveying his canvas. Tonight he intended to woo and romance Jensen, show him how much he loved him. Of course if Jensen happened to end up naked, and covered in whipped cream in the process, then he’d count the night as a success. He’d talked Ben into letting him finish early, by offering himself totally to his and Sera’s less than tender mercies.

Ben had only been too happy with the terms of the deal. Jared had come home, knowing the terrible twosome would collect on his offer one day very soon. But all that mattered was he was going to be able do something romantic for Jensen tonight. And he was certain nothing was going to go wrong this time. He nodded decisively, moving swiftly, wanting to get set up before Jensen came home. 

First of all he pushed the couch back a little, and then he moved the coffee table. Now it sat in front of the fire, where it would allow him to appreciate the effect of the flames. Stage One complete, he headed for the bedroom in search of everything else he’d need to help set the mood. 

The candles he wanted were hidden in his wardrobe. Jensen had tried to throw them all away after one of his last uses of mood-enhancing light. Jared had quickly discovered that no matter how romantic making love in a room lit by dozens of candles was, nothing dampened the ardour quicker than the sight of the curtains catching fire. 

Jared couldn’t help but smile at the memory of a naked Jensen, leaping off the bed, ripping down the curtains, and smothering the flames. It had been hot in more ways than one! Jared had even offered to buy Jensen a firefighter’s uniform, or at least ‘borrow’ one from wardrobe. But Jensen wasn’t playing fair. He kept saying no, depriving him of a much-loved fantasy. He could still hear Jensen’s final words on the matter. “For the last time, Jay, I’m not dressing as a fireman so you can play with my hose.”

Jared continued to rummage in the back of his wardrobe, searching for his emergency stash of candles - the ones that had managed to escape his other half’s purge. He thought it was unfair Jensen was so negative about candlelight, after all it had only been a small fire. Plus, Jensen had never really liked those curtains. 

Jared knew he had to be careful about which scented candles to use from his collection. There was one particularly strong floral fragrance that gave Jensen a migraine. He’d discovered that the hard way. After yet another long and bruising week on set, he’d filled the bathroom with candles and decided to share a bath with Jensen, just to help ease Jensen’s battered, aching body. He’d wanted to be a good boyfriend. Could he help it if there were fringe benefits? 

The fringe benefits included the chance to grope....no, no, bathe Jensen, help soothe sore muscles. He’d even managed to ignore the whole, “Candles in the bathroom? Seriously, Jay? Just ‘cause Kane calls me Jenny it doesn’t mean I’m a girl. You’ll want to paint my toe nails next.” He grinned playfully. “Although if the place catches fire, there’s plenty of water nearby.” 

Jared swiftly shut Jensen up by tearing his clothes off, pushing him up against the wall, then giving him a blow job that turned Jensen’s knees to jelly. It helped Jared get his dazed boyfriend into the rose-petal-covered water without a fight.

As they’d sat in the oversized bath he’d turned Jensen to mush, as he gently soaped him all over. Suddenly Jensen groaned, clutched his head, complaining about the technicolor blizzard in front of his eyes. Jared’s hope for a night of wild passionate sex vanished suddenly. Instead his evening had been spent sitting in a darkened bedroom, holding a bowl for Jensen to puke into. He’d held a cool damp cloth over Jensen’s eyes because they were going to explode.

No, nothing like that was going to happen tonight. Everything was going to be perfect. He was certain of it. Jared found the candles and the fake fur throw Chad bought him as an aid to seducing Jensen. He took one look at the purple phallic-shaped monstrosities that supposedly smelt of passion...i.e. sex, and shuddered. 

He recalled Chad’s words of encouragement as he handed them over. “Listen, bitch, these fuckers are dynamite in the romance department. Just ask all the ladies who’ve enjoyed my company. Now for god’s sake, stop moping like a teenage girl. Get in there and screw pretty boy senseless.” Jared buried the candles at the back of the wardrobe, vowing to throw them out the next chance he got. But the throw was coming with him, it might be the only decent gift Chad had bought him. 

He was never going to talk about the twelve-inch neon pink vibrator Chad bought Jensen. Chad had said it was a little something to keep Jensen company while Jared was filming _Friday the Thirteenth._ Jared remembered Jensen’s response. “Thanks, Chad, but I hate to tell ya, if it’s meant to replace Jay then it’s a little on the small side.” Jared could still see the look of horror on Chad’s face, and even now he offered Jensen something soft to sit on whenever they met.

Jared staggered downstairs carrying the laundry basket, filled with everything he needed. He strategically placed the candles round the room, and made a phone call as he worked. He just had a few more preparations to make, and the scene would be set for his evening with Jensen.

A little while later Jensen opened the front door, relieved they had finished almost on time for once, meaning he was home before midnight. He slipped his jacket off and hung it up. Looking around there was no sign of life. At first glance, downstairs appeared to be in darkness. He called out. “Jay, where are you?”

“In here. Do you want a beer?” Jared called out. 

Jensen smiled. A beer sounded awesome. He walked into the lounge and was hit by two things. First of all there was the stink...sorry, aroma of scented candles, which meant only one thing. Jared was attempting to be romantic again. He tensed, took a deep breath and relaxed when he remembered where he’d put the fire extinguisher. Secondly as the warm spicy smell of sandalwood washed over him, he was relieved that he wouldn’t need his extra-strength painkillers again. The room’s only illumination came from flickering candles and the fire. He shrugged and reached for the light switch. “NO!” Jensen snatched his hand away at Jared’s shout.

“Christ, Jay. Are you trying to give me a heart attack? Did we have a power cut?” A thrill of apprehension ran through him. “Please don’t tell me you’ve been trying some home improvements again.” Jensen sounded nervous, and his fingers tingled. He remembered Jared’s last attempts at home improvement. It had been an attempt to impress him with his home-making skills. Jared had put up a new light fitting. 

When he’d touched the light switch there had been a blinding flash, a burning pain shooting up his arm then darkness. He’d woken up halfway across the room, cradled in Jared’s arms. That would’ve been kind of enjoyable, if Jared hadn’t been shaking him frantically, threatening to call 911 if he didn’t wake up right now.

Jared appeared out of the darkness, holding two bottles of cold beer. He offered one to Jensen. “No, I haven’t been doing any home improving. Jeez, Jen, you get one little shock, and you threaten to call in an electrician whenever we need to change a light bulb.” Jensen quirked an eyebrow at Jared. “Ok, maybe it took two days for your hair to lie flat again afterwards. But at least the girls from hair and makeup saved a fortune on product for Dean’s hair. Come on. Let’s get you sat down, and I’ll get the food.” 

Jensen made to walk to the couch, ready to crash in front of the television. Instead Jared took him by the arm, and led him gently to the coffee table.

Jensen looked down. Now his eyes were becoming accustomed to the gloom...sorry, subdued lighting; Jared was being romantic here. That was when he realised that almost every cushion they owned was on the floor around the table. He looked up at Jared’s hopeful beaming smile, rolled his eyes, and grinned, letting Jared show him to his ‘seat’. 

Jensen settled himself; he was just getting comfortable when Jared returned with their meal. Jensen laughed. “I gotta hand it to ya, Jay, ya sure know how to treat a guy. I’m overwhelmed here.” Jared placed the pizza box on the table and sat down. “What, no sushi? I thought we were going Japanese tonight. I’m kinda disappointed that you’re not wearing a kimono.” Jensen grinned, enjoying watching Jared as he attempted to sit at the table. Jared folded down until his knees were level with his ears; after some wriggling he managed to fold his long legs under the table. 

“No, we’re not going Japanese. There was no way I could ever compete with you in a kimono.” Jared smirked. “I don’t suppose there’s any chance of a little dance later?” Jensen snorted, and extended his middle finger.

Jared sighed in mock sadness. “Ahh well, never mind, and of course I know how to treat a guy. It’s your favourite, a family sized meat feast with extra chilli. Now eat up, there’s another one in the kitchen.” Jared grinned, flipped the box open, tore off a slice and handed it to Jensen.

So far all of Jared’s careful planning was paying off; he was keeping tonight simple. Now as they were sat on the floor in front of the fire, it allowed Jared to be enthralled by the way the flames bathed Jensen with their warm tones.

The soft golden honeyed light made Jensen even more beautiful. The shadows clung to his eyelashes, making them impossibly long. Jared watched Jensen’s eye lids flutter closed with pleasure as he ate, moaning in appreciation of the pizza. Jared wished he’d stop making those sounds. If Jensen kept doing that, it was likely to result in the pizza being forgotten, and him being ravaged in front of the fire. Yes, it was how he intended the evening to end up, but he felt he ought to let Jensen get something to eat first. Just to help keep his strength up. 

Jared continued to eat, watching as Jensen went from enjoying the pizza, to acting like Dean dealing with a cursed object. He wondered if Jensen was going to ask if there was any holy water in the house. 

Jensen had kept a close watch on Jared through his eyelashes as he ate, and a horrifying thought struck him. He swallowed and asked warily. “Jay, it’s not our anniversary, is it? Or an anniversary I should’ve remembered. Because if that’s the case, I’m sorry and I’ll take us out for a meal tomorrow.”

Jared paused in his demolition of his third slice of pizza, and looked at Jensen as if he’d suddenly started babbling in Latin. “What are you on about?” 

Jensen put his slice down and gestured round the room, “All of this - candlelight, beer, my favourite pizza. I’m surprised you haven’t got soft music playing in the back ground. You know I’m lousy at remembering anniversaries.” Jensen winced, remembering what Jared had threatened to do to him last time he forgot. “No offence, Jay, but the thought of _Property of Jared Padalecki as of March third two thousand and six_ tattooed on my ass is kind of terrifying.” Jensen shuffled, as if dispelling the phantom pain of the tattooist’s needle.

Jared realized what Jensen was getting at, and promptly hid the remote to the stereo. He’d just been about to press _play_ , filling the room with the sound of Jensen’s favourite singer. It was time to reassure Jensen he wouldn’t need to stock up with ice packs and pillows to sit on. 

Then Jensen clicked his fingers. “Ok, where it is?” He began to closely inspect the slice of pizza he’d been eating, now deeply suspicious of the pepperoni-and-chilli-beef-laden slice.

Jared frowned, “Where’s what?”

“Well, if it’s not our anniversary, have you bought me a little something as a surprise? Remember the last time you tried to give me a present?” Jensen lifted the slice towards the candlelight.

Jared groaned inwardly. “No, there’s nothing in there, I promise. I’ve learned my lesson.”

Jensen grinned, leant over and patted Jared on the shoulder. “It was a lovely thought, Jay, but you should’ve warned me though.”

“It was meant to be a surprise; it always works in the movies.” Jared said with a pout.

“You know it always works in the movies. Slipping that ring into my favourite coffee fudge cake, I was lucky I didn’t choke on it.” Jensen said seriously, trying to fight the smile that threatened to appear.

“How the hell was I supposed to know you were gonna go all Dean on it? The speed you ate it, I’m surprised there weren’t sparks coming off your spoon.” 

“Come on, Jay, you stood lurking with a gleam in your eye. I was just protecting my food. I didn’t know you and Chad had been watching chick flicks again. I’m not sure what scared me most, almost choking or the prospect of you proposing to me. I half expected the Canadian Philharmonic Orchestra to appear and start serenading us.” Jensen laughed. 

Jared shook his head and returned Jensen’s smile, “How many more times? Chad only watches porn, and what’s wrong with me proposing to you? I did try for the Philharmonic, but they were busy. Misha did offer his Tibetan throat singing though.” Jared fell forward and sobbed. “That’s it! You don’t love me anymore. I knew it - you’re leaving me for Mark Shepherd. You’ve fallen for his accent, sharp wit and the fact finally there is someone on set shorter than you.” He sniffed, and collapsed across the table, carefully avoiding the open pizza box.

Jensen sat forward and took hold of Jared’s hand, and said in a sincere voice, “Jared, love of my life, my angel, hottest moose on the planet. How could I ever leave you for Mark? You know how much I love being the short one in the relationship. Also I’d never be able to afford the lifts for all his shoes just to keep it that way.”

The two men stared lovingly into each other’s eyes. Finally Jared couldn’t stand it any longer and he broke down laughing. “Ok, I get it. Next time I want to be nice and show how much I love you, I’m not going to hide your present in your favourite food.”

Jensen nodded, “That’s good to hear, but I don’t think there’s enough cake in the world to hide a nineteen-sixty-seven Impala, or a new set of golf clubs in. But it would be fun watching you try. And I promise that if you ever propose, I’ll be overcome with joy, and weep tears of happiness as I say yes.” He tore himself another slice of pizza and started to eat.

Jared joined him in another slice and as he started to chew, he said, “You know I would never propose while we’re on the show. I don’t think we would be able to stand every fan girl in the cosmos, and Misha all screaming at the same time, ‘we knew it'!”

Jensen nodded then glanced round the room again. “Ok, so if it’s not an anniversary, or you about to declare your undying love by whipping out your huge...ring, what’s all this for?”

“Nothing, really. I was just trying to be romantic.” Jared blushed a little under Jensen’s close scrutiny. He might as well confess now and get it over with. “What can I say? You looked hotter than hell on set today.” 

Jensen tried to figure out what Jared was going on about, then he understood. He looked round at the candles and the fire blazing merrily, “Ahh, I get it. Are you trying to say I look better in the dark? I know I’m getting old and wrinkled. But really, suggesting I look better in low lighting.... I’m wounded, Jay.” He folded his arms and pouted at Jared, his eyes growing wide and sorrow filled.

Jared started to panic, no...Crap, that wasn’t what he was trying to say, “No, Jen, that’s not what I meant at all. It’s just the firelight brought out the colour of your eyes; they were such a beautiful shade of green. And the flames highlighted your hair. You know they keep saying you’re blonde but they never see the red in your hair. You looked stunning today, Jen and I just wanted to recapture that. I never meant to upset you....and why are you laughing?” Jared narrowed his eyes as Jensen threw back his head, and roared with laughter.

“Jay, you idiot. I got the hint when you stood there drooling. I thought the effects guys were gonna throw you off set after you nearly put the holy fire out twice. And how the hell can gas-propelled flames be sexy? The first time they fired up, they nearly took mine and Misha’s eyebrows off.”

Jensen leant forward again looking worriedly at Jared, “Jay, are we going to have to keep you away from the makeup girls again? Or ban you from reading Cosmopolitan. And my eyes are stunning by firelight! The way things are going you’re gonna leap over the table, and want to make love in front of the fire on a fur rug.” Jensen stopped when he saw Jared’s expression change. Suddenly his boyfriend was looking more than a little furtive, and trying desperately not to look at the couch.

Jensen studied the offending item of furniture; the cushions looked out of place. He should have known he’d spent a long time making certain they were just right. Yes, he knew it was a little OCD, but he hated things being out of place. Jensen smirked, got up and went to the couch, lifting a cushion to find a bottle of lube and a condom. He moved another one and found the faux fur throw. “Oh, now there’s a blast from the past. Jay, just promise me you haven’t got those damn candles out that Chad bought you at the same time. What were they called?” He thought for a few seconds, “That’s it - Passions Promise. More like Hellhound Halitosis.” Jensen looked over his shoulder and grinned wickedly. “Does that mean I’m gonna get lucky tonight? And there I was thinking, you were just going to sit holding me in your arms while you read love poetry to me.”

Jared went bright red as he got to his feet, and joined Jensen by the couch. Jensen turned around, pulled him forward, kissing him lightly on the lips. He took Jared’s hand, pulled him to the floor and they sat with their backs against the couch.

“So we’re having a romantic evening together. Should I put the local ER on standby? You have to admit, Jay, your attempts at romance are never boring. Occasionally they’re a danger to life and limb. But they’re never boring,” he said with a grin, sliding his hand beneath Jared’s T- shirt. His fingers stroked back and forth gently across smooth skin.

Jared folded his arms and sulked, trying not to respond to how Jensen was stroking his stomach. “What’s wrong with me being romantic? And what did you mean my attempts at romance are a danger to life and limb? You didn’t actually choke on that ring, it just made you cough a little.” Jared looked at Jensen as if he’d just confiscated all his candy, and told him to eat his greens.

Jensen grinned. “I’m sorry, Jay, and I’m looking forward to whatever you have planned for tonight. Now, shall we get on with the romance?” He turned and straddled Jared’s lap, bending forward, kissing him hard. His tongue swept over the younger man’s lips until they parted, allowing his tongue to slip inside.

Jared wrapped his arms round Jensen. As he held him he took the chance to run his fingers lightly over Jensen’s ribs making him squirm. He continued down, his goal, Jensen’s gorgeous ass. Jared’s hand skimmed over it lightly then squeezed gently. It made Jensen groan and rock against him. Jensen broke the kiss, resting his forehead against Jared’s shoulder, breathing hard as Jared continued to caress his ass, and palm his dick through his jeans.

Finally Jensen sat back, and started to undo Jared’s shirt with a smile on his face, “Remember when you arranged that romantic weekend away at that secluded cabin by a lake?” Jensen said, focusing his attention on the shirt as he pushed it down Jared’s arms, tugging impatiently at the material.

Jared ducked his head and grimaced. How the hell could he forget that little fun fest? A rare weekend off, and everything had been perfect. They’d gone for a picnic by the lake, classic romance. The food was wonderful, he’d made certain of that by getting it from a local restaurant. He wasn’t going to risk poisoning them with his cooking. 

After the picnic he’d suggested they went skinny dipping, all part of his romantic plan. It had meant he’d had to cover every inch of Jensen in sun block, purely to protect his delicate skin from the sun. And so what if he’d used half the bottle on Jensen’s ass? It was a part of Jensen very dear to his heart. “Jen, I’m sor...” Jared didn’t finish what he was saying when Jensen leant forward and kissed him again.

Jensen pulled away and took hold of Jared’s T-shirt. “Don’t get me wrong, it was a wonderful weekend. Believe me when I say you looked spectacular in your bathing costume. It was a shame about the jellyfish though.” Jensen grinned as he attacked Jared’s t-shirt, tugging it up over the firm body, intent on getting him naked as quickly as possible.

Jared groaned and let his head fall back onto the couch.”How the hell can I ever forget the jellyfish?” There had been a freaking flock, herd, whatever the hell an invasion force of the damn things was called. “I had no idea there were fresh water jellyfish. They never tell you that shit on Discovery.”

Jensen patted Jared’s now naked shoulder before placing a soft kiss on it. “It was just our luck to find out the hard way. Who knew they liked Canada?” He turned and sucked gently on Jared’s neck, hearing him moan softly.

As Jensen’s lips brushed against his neck, Jared recalled the moment the perfect weekend had changed. They’d swum out into crystal-clear water, splashing about, enjoying the moment. Then Jensen had reached over, and ducked his head under the water before swimming away speedily. Jared had given chase, hearing Jensen laughing as he spluttered and flailed behind him.

Suddenly the laughter stopped as Jensen swum right into the middle of the damn jellyfish. Even now Jared could still hear Jensen’s pained scream as he was stung.

Jared shuddered and tensed at the memory, his arms tightening around Jensen, pulling him closer. Jensen knew what was going through Jared’s head. “You know I never did tell you, you fulfilled one of my fantasies that day.”

Jared looked at him like he’d gone mad. “You never told me that one of your fantasies was to be almost stung to death by jellyfish. At least I got something right...”

Jensen sighed, and looked Jared in the eye. “I’ve told you before it wasn’t your fault. Ok, I’m going to embarrass myself here, just to prove to you your romantic weekend was a success. Well, apart from the jellyfish of course.” He blushed and looked down, then lifted his eyes to Jared. He took a deep breath. “I’ve always had a thing about lifeguards, and seeing you swimming towards me, all determined to rescue me was kind of hot.” He waited for Jared’s reaction.

Jared’s face lit up with a smile. “Oh my god, you’ve got a Baywatch kink! Oh, that’s it, I’m breaking out the red swim shorts. So I impressed you with my rescue skills then?”

Jensen lay with his head on Jared’s shoulder as he held him tight. When he lifted his head he was bright red with embarrassment, “Yes, alright, Hoff, I’ve got a Baywatch kink, but I couldn’t let you swim into the middle of the damn things.”

Jared sighed. “It did kinda ruin the whole macho rescue when you waved me away, and swam clear yourself. If I’d been the Hoff, I’m sure my armour-plated tan, and super hair would’ve protected me.”

“I wasn’t going to let you get stung too, so deal with it, Sasquatch.” Jensen blushed a deeper shade of red as he continued. “I might’ve got turned on a little by the way you towed me back to the beach, then carried me out of the surf. All that was missing was the slow motion running. It helped take my mind off the stings, that and the salad dressing.”

Jared rolled his eyes. “Oh, don’t remind me about the salad dressing. There you were looking like an overdone lobster, and I was on the phone to the ER asking for help.” Jared closed his eyes, remembering his panic-stricken call for help to see what he could do to ease Jensen’s pain.

Jensen brought Jared back to the present when he laughed, and slowly trailed his fingers down Jared’s chest, making him whimper softly. “Look on the bright side. At least you didn’t have to re-enact Friends. Who knew vinegar works? Thank god the dressing was heavy on the balsamic vinegar. Even now I still can’t look a salad in the eye.” 

“Well, it looks like we’ll have to stick to junk food, and gummi bears. But I promise you, tonight there won’t be any jellyfish. I checked the bath in case we wanted to clean up later or I could offer to rescue you from the deep end of the bath. Just let me break out the shorts and I’m good to go. How’s that for romance?” Jared smiled down at Jensen.

Jensen winked, sat back then started to undo his own shirt, “Does that mean you’ll be trying some more role play then?” His fingers slowed, then stopped.

Jared saw the thoughtful look in Jensen’s eyes as a smirk appeared. He groaned again. “Oh please, not that, anything but that.” Jared put his hands over his face, and then slid them up into his hair. He winced when he found the permanent reminder of his last attempt at role play.

Jensen laughed freely, his face lighting up as he threw his head back. Jared enjoyed the sight as the pulsing light of the fire accentuated Jensen’s lean body, and slender throat. Jared suddenly wanted to sit up and lick it.

Jensen stopped laughing as he slowly eased his own button-down off his shoulders. He looked into Jared’s eyes and leant forward, his lips hovering just above Jared’s. Jared sat forward chasing them, wanting another taste of the man he loved. 

Jensen smiled. “How could I ever forget your attempt at swashbuckling romance? I should never have said I thought Johnny Depp was hot as Captain Jack Sparrow. I totally blame myself for what happened,” a mirth-filled glint in his eyes.

Jared rolled his eyes and grumbled. “That’s it. Mock me when I’m down. Look, can I help it if you were channelling Dean facing down a nest of vampires? Jen, you damn near killed me.” Jared whined at his boyfriend and then whimpered as he watched Jensen strip off his T-shirt. He slowly ran his hands down his own body, stroking his nipples to hardness and smirking when Jared licked his lips, and made a needy sound in his throat. 

Jensen stopped teasing Jared, and reached for his belt, looking contrite. “Be honest, Jay. Can you honestly tell you you’d have done things differently? I’m just glad I realized who you were before I tried for a hole in one.” He grinned in triumph as he pulled the belt free, and dropped it on the floor.

Jared took hold of Jensen’s hips and ground up against him, making Jensen shiver as Jared’s hard cock rubbed against his. Jensen dropped his hand over the bulge in Jared’s jean, and stroked lightly.

Jensen nipped Jared’s ear and said breathily, “Jay, you climbed the drain pipe dressed as Captain Jack with a rose between your teeth. What the hell was I supposed to think?” 

Jared sat up and nuzzled Jensen’s neck, his hand sliding down the waistband of his jeans. His fingers glided over the curve of Jensen’s ass. “That a handsome stranger was coming to ravage you until you were a sated puddle of goo. Not a mad axe murderer coming to kill you.” Jared muttered into Jensen’s neck, hissing softly when Jensen scratched lightly at his nipples. “I sure as hell wasn’t expecting you to try and cave my head in with a golf club.”

Jensen pulled back slightly, his green eyes dancing in the firelight, “Jay, you’d tripped the circuit breaker so the house was in darkness. All I saw was an unidentified moose trying to break into our home.” Jensen was trying not to laugh at Jared as he explained. “I was just trying to protect the man I loved from being savagely attacked by an armed lunatic.” 

Jared waved his arms in frustration. “I wasn’t armed, it was a goddamn rose! I had plans for that rose too, it never stood a chance. You came hurtling out of the dark, screaming like a freaking banshee, waving your putter at me. And then you trampled it underfoot before I had chance to sweep you into my arms and....”

“What? Offer to let me walk your plank? I shudder to think what you were going to do with that rose, and it wasn’t my putter, it was a nine iron.” Jensen caught the flailing hands in an attempt to stop Jared knocking him out with an enthusiastic arm gesture.

“How many more times do I have to say sorry for hitting you? I managed to divert the swing; you only needed a couple of stitches. All the nurses in the ER thought you were hot. Thank god we managed to convince them you’d been at a fancy dress party.” He brought Jared’s hand to his lips, kissing the knuckles and then sucking gently on his thumb by way of apology.

Jensen heard a loan desperate moan from Jared. He let go of the thumb and grinned wickedly. “But be honest, the bed baths were fun, and all the time I spent mopping your fevered brow. And I know you loved the breakfasts in bed as well.”

A wide smile appeared on Jared’s face at the memory. “Breakfast in bed was good. You, serving it naked was even better. It almost made up for the bald patch makeup had to hide for months.”

Jensen leant forward and nibbled Jared’s ear again, feeling the younger man writhe under him. He whispered huskily, “I’m still sorry about missing the chance to experience you in guy liner. Now, why don’t you put your latest romantic master plan into action for me? I promise I’m not armed this time.” 

Jensen inched backwards. He stood in front of Jared and slowly began to strip, kicked off his boots and started to sway. Jensen moved sinuously, his hands roaming over his body, skimming lightly down his chest and palming at his denim-clad dick, stroking it. His tilted his head back and moaned softly, running his tongue over his lips.

Jared’s jaw dropped open. Shit, it was one of the most erotic things he’d ever seen. He watched Jensen move to a rhythm only he could hear. The soft light from the fire and the candles cascaded over his firm body, the flickering shadows enhancing the seductive moves Jensen made.

Jared reached behind him feeling for something on the couch, grinning in triumph when found what he was searching for. He moved onto his hands and knees, and began to crawl towards Jensen. Jared came to a halt, kneeling in front of him, his hands sliding up his legs and coming to rest on his hips. “It looks like I got my dance after all. Isn’t this supposed to be my romantic night? Can’t let you steal my thunder now, can I?” Jared leant forward and gently kissed Jensen’s toned stomach. He continued to pepper the smooth skin with feather-light touches, kissing his way to Jensen’s navel. With a grin he flicked his tongue into it, making the man in front of him squirm and laugh.

Jared’s hands moved towards Jensen’s belt, tugging it open. His lips blazed a trail downward to the top of Jensen’s right hip. He sucked, licked then bit down a little harder, listening to Jensen moaning softly above him, as he staked his claim on him.

Jared sat back admiring the mark he had branded onto Jensen’s freckled skin, his fingertips playing gently over the red mark. He glanced up to see Jensen’s eyes closed, his teeth worrying his full lip. Jared couldn’t help but smile at the sight; he turned his attention to the button of Jensen’s jeans. A matter of seconds later, he was easing the soft worn denim down muscular thighs.

Jared moved forward again and this time his target was the other hip, sucking and biting. A voice above him croaked out, “And you say I’m OCD. What’s with the matching hickies?” Jensen gasped raggedly as Jared blew cool air across the reddened mark.

Jared leant back and smiled broadly. “I hate leaving a job half done. Now hush, I’m busy.” He went back to tracing Jensen’s freckles with his tongue as he sucked at one of his favourite groups of freckles. Jared pulled down Jensen’s boxers, and eased the garment off his legs. He took a moment to admire Jensen’s dick as it sprung free of the boxers, making his mouth water with desire.

As Jared stripped him, Jensen ran his fingers though his thick hair. Jared’s gentle manhandling was keeping him off balance, and before he had a chance to regain his equilibrium, he gasped in shock. He felt the firm wet pressure of Jared’s tongue, as he licked his cock from base to tip. “Jesus Christ, Jay, what....” the words died and a low moan escaped when Jared wrapped his lips around the head and his tongue flicked in the slit. Jared’s head dipped lower, and his tongue pressed gently on the sensitive glans beneath the head. He hummed happily when Jensen rocked his hips forward slowly.

As he distracted Jensen with his mouth, Jared flicked open the bottle of lube he’d picked up. He poured the viscous liquid over his fingers. Continuing to torment Jensen with his mouth, his hand inched up Jensen’s thigh, the light touch making him shiver with pleasure. Jared held Jensen’s balls in his hand, rolling them gently, fingernails teasing over his perineum. Jared looked up and saw Jensen biting his lip as he tried to stay quiet. His fingers glided further back and slowly circled Jensen’s puckered entrance, tormenting him with fleeting pressure. Jared continued to tease him, feeling Jensen tremble, until finally he slid his fingertip inside gently, hearing a whimper above him.

Jensen panted as Jared slowly sucked and licked at his dick. There was just the right amount of pressure from that talented mouth, and the slightest scrape of teeth that nearly made his knees buckle. At that moment when Jared pushed his lubed finger inside of him, he felt the stretch and burn as it slipped deeper, brushing lightly over the small bundle of nerves that sent tiny shocks of pleasure fluttering up his spine, making his skin tingle. Jared carried on lightly stroking that spot over and over and he could barely draw enough air to breathe, let alone beg Jared not to stop.

Jared eased his finger out and when he pushed back inside there were two fingers. Jared twisted them stretching the tight, smooth channel, feeling Jensen tense as his breath came in short gasps. Jensen’s fingers were tangled in his hair pulling at it gently. He pulled off Jensen’s engorged cock; he didn’t want him to come just yet. He had plans for the man swaying slowly in front of him, and he was just getting started.

“Fuck! What did you stop for, Jay?” Jensen rasped, his voice hoarse from moaning. Jared smirked and pushed a third finger inside, teasing him open. His fingers brushed maddeningly over the bundle of nerves, forcing another deep moan from him. Jensen’s legs shook with effort as Jared brought him ever closer to the brink of orgasm. He felt Jared’s fingers being pulled out, and he grumbled at the feeling of emptiness, “Jay, please, don’t stop. I’m so fucking close.” 

Jared rose to his feet and pulled Jensen into his arms, kissing him passionately, his hands roaming over Jensen’s body as they kissed. He felt Jensen melt against him as his fingers flowed across broad shoulders, slowly moving down his back, following the arch of his spine. Jared’s smile became predatory as he changed his hold on Jensen. He swept him into his arms, laughing when Jensen squawked in surprise.

Jensen wrapped his arms round Jared’s neck instinctively as his feet left the floor; he looked into a pair of amused hazel eyes. He returned a heated look, batted his eyelashes and purred seductively, “Didn’t you say something about ravaging me until I was a sated puddle of goo? Well, come on, then, or are you just talk?” Jensen threw the challenge down, waiting to see if Jared would take the bait

Jared raised an eyebrow, and leered at the man in his arms. “Why yes, my pretty, I fully intend to turn you into a puddle of goo. Prepare to be ravaged.” 

Jensen laughed as Jared put him down and walked to the couch. He returned and with a flourish placed the fur throw in front of the fire. Jared swept Jensen back into his arms, carrying him over to the throw. Jared lowered them carefully to the floor. As he managed not to drop Jensen, he silently thanked all the time he spent in the gym. No way was he adding to his list of romantic disasters tonight. 

This time he was confident nothing was going to go wrong, tonight he would prove once and for all he was capable of romance. A romantic gesture that didn’t involve a trip to the ER for one of them, or included a visit from a locksmith as happened on one memorable occasion. He still blushed whenever they produced handcuffs on set.

He fully intended to worship every inch of Jensen’s body, appreciate its beauty and strength. And yeah, play dot to dot with Jensen’s freckles. Jared stood up and enjoyed the way Jensen was laid out on the throw like an early birthday present. A present he really wanted to play with, he prepared to take off the rest of his clothes. As he did, Jensen stretched himself out on the throw, sighing and wriggling on the soft material. 

Jensen looked up at his other half, and decided to encourage him to get naked a little faster. He continued to move, enjoying the way the fur felt against his skin. He arched his body a little, displaying his toned form in all its glory, happy that all his hard work in the hated gym had paid off handsomely, if the awestruck, lust-filled expression on Jared’s face was any indication.

Jared’s mouth watered as he pulled at his jeans and boxers, forgetting he still wore his boots. His jeans became tangled in his boots, and he flailed around, trying not to fall flat on his face as he tugged frantically at the boot. He heard laughter and looking up he could see Jensen lying propped up on his elbows, his head tilted to one side.

“Is this some new mating ritual you’re trying out, Jay? The mating dance of the lesser spotted American Sasquatch? Don’t stop. It’s a real turn on.” 

Jared grinned triumphantly when the boot he was tugging at came off. He threw it into the gloom and flinched when he heard a crash. But he didn’t care, he was on a roll. The other boot came off more easily, and soon his jeans, boxers and socks were gone.

He smirked at Jensen and struck a pose, flexing his biceps, kissing one then the other. His smile was so broad, his dimples cast shadows of their own. “So my moves are a turn on, then? Oh baby, you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

Jensen giggled at Jared’s antics, his head falling back, exposing his throat. Jared felt he just had to get down there and smother it with kisses. After an invitation like that, it would’ve been rude not to. He dropped to his knees and quickly covered Jensen’s body with his. He heard muttering. “Ouch. Damn, your ass is heavy, Padalecki. If you want to impress me, don’t squash me.”

Jared was busy sucking gently on Jensen’s neck, enjoying the way he squirmed under him. Jared lifted his head, “Heavy? I’ll have you know this is prime Texan Beef, pardner! Now are you going to let me ravish you, or are you just gonna lie there complainin’.” Jared’s voice was low and heady, with the sounds of home. His lips brushed gently against Jensen’s neck, reveling in the effect he was having on the other man. Jensen shivered when he felt the hot heavy weight of Jared’s erection digging into him as he rutted against him.

Jensen moaned and arched into Jared’s touch. God, what was he doing to him? His whole body felt as if it was on fire, nerve ends tingling every time Jared’s hot breath flowed over his skin. It left him feeling raw and vulnerable, and loving every moment of Jared’s teasing. He managed to pull himself together enough to smirk, “Prime Texan Beef, hey?” He reached out and grabbed Jared’s ass, making him squeak with surprise. “I’m just hankerin’ after some rump. We doin’ this, or you gonna talk pretty to me all night?” He quickly nipped at Jared’s ear, and felt the rumble of laughter in Jared’s chest.

Jared eased out of Jensen’s embrace and slid down his body, taking his time to caress, kiss and stroke every inch of silky skin he could reach. He started with Jensen’s nipples, concentrating on the tight little brown nubs. He flicked his tongue over them grazing them with his teeth, biting down lightly.

Jared moved further down, feeling Jensen quivering as he carried on touching and tasting. Good, he was driving Jensen wild, just as he hoped he would. He lingered once more by his favourite freckles clustered just above Jensen’s left hip, licking and blowing gently over the damp skin. He could hear Jensen becoming breathless, and the trembling increased. Jared smiled. Damn, he was good. Just wait until they got to the main event. Jensen was going to be convinced he was a sex god. 

As Jared had been taking the long way down his body, Jensen became aware of a tightening in his chest and a scratchy sensation in his throat. His eyes shot open. Oh shit, no, it couldn’t be, could it? He’d gone through every piece of furniture in the house, and some of Jared’s more ‘exotic’ sweaters. He was sure he’d removed every item that could contain even a minute trace of his Kryptonite. He still felt a little guilty about Jared’s favourite pink sweater. After he’d boiled and washed it, it had shrunk to a size only a Ken doll could wear. But it had been a matter of life and death. Well, more a matter of a nasty case of hives, and swelling up like a balloon. But he knew this feeling only too well.

Jensen gasped loudly as Jared wrapped his hand round his cock, pumping it slowly. At the same time he seemed to be trying to swallow his balls. Any other time he would’ve screamed the house down in ecstasy, before composing a prayer of thanks for his boyfriend’s talents. But there was a medical emergency going on here, and he was at a loss how to get Jared’s attention.

Jared was happy in his work, certain that for once everything was going smoothly. By the way Jensen was gasping for air and shivering, he was sure he was about to launch Jensen into sexual Nirvana. He knew all those hours taking to Misha about yoga and tantric sex would pay off. There was no lotus position involved, and seriously who the hell had five hours to spare? Then he remembered trying the lotus position, and how it had taken Jensen and Misha the best part of ten minutes to unknot his legs. But he knew a thing or two about what buttons to press on Jensen, and judging by the way his skin had flushed and his mouth was opened in a silent scream, he’d just hit the jackpot.

Sweat ran into Jensen’s eyes, making them sting, and he wheezed loudly. Ok, there was no doubt now. He had to get off the damn rug. He tried to call out to Jared but with the tightness in his chest no sound came out. He desperately reached out, and his fingers caught Jared’s hair. He gripped it tightly and pulled urgently.

Jared felt the tugging on his hair. He grinned, got to his knees and crawled back up Jensen’s body. He came face to face with Jensen and purred, “Wow, talk about bossy. You want to get on with the lurve now?” He frowned slightly - there was something wrong; Jensen’s face looked a little swollen. Before he had a chance to say something, Jensen wrapped his arms round him. Then he found himself being flipped over. 

With a desperate surge of strength, Jensen managed to roll the two of them off the fur throw. They came to a tangled halt when they hit the coffee table. Jensen panted against Jared’s chest as he found himself on top of the younger man. Jared grinned at him. “Talk about taking control! Ok, you can ravish me if you want. I promise not to scream too much.....Jensen, are you ok?”

Jared’s laughter died away when he looked closely at the man lying on him. Even in the limited light he could see Jensen’s eyes were closing and his lips looked swollen. In fact they were bordering on Botox overdose and working in this industry he’d seen his fair share of those.

“Jensen, what’s wrong?” Jared suddenly felt nervous, and everything had been going so well.

Jensen licked his lips. Great, they felt like sausages. He managed to croak out, “Allergy... need...”

The next thing he knew, Jared had flipped them back over and was kneeling above him. Godamnit, he was back on the throw again.

“Shit, Allergic? Oh my god, what do you need? Do you have an Epi pen?” Jensen shook his head. Jared stood up and ran to the light switch. He turned on the light and spun round. “It’s ok. I’ll get my pants and take you to the ER....” He hurtled past Jensen, panicking, only to be brought to a stop as Jensen rolled off the throw, lunged for his ankles and held them tightly.

Jared dropped to his knees and pulled Jensen into a kneeling position, “What’s wrong? Talk to me! Or signal or something.” Jared babbled as he pulled the wheezing man into his arms.

Jensen rolled his eyes as he was crushed to Jared’s muscular chest. Normally he’d enjoy this position but right now his back felt as if it was on fire, and his skin was about to peel off. He lifted a shaking hand, and smacked Jared hard across the back of the head.

“Ow! What did you do that for? I’m only trying to help.” Jared loosened his hold as Jensen managed to ease himself back a little.

Jensen shook his head, lifted his other hand and pointed to the throw. “Signal? Do I look like Lassie? I need to know what that’s made of...” His voice was hoarse and his breathing rattled harshly.

Jared moved towards the throw trying to find a label, “What? Do you think it’s the throw?” He winced when Jensen rolled his eyes, and shot him a look that suggested he was sleeping on the couch for the next year. He desperately searched the material for a label, talking rapidly as he did.

“What the hell can you be allergic to on a rug? Shit, it’s not real fur, is it? Oh my god, my membership of PETA will be revoked. I’ll never live it down. I’ll fucking kill Chad if the moron bought me a real fur rug.” He heard a disgruntled wheeze. “Ok, I’ll kill him for buying a rug that could be about to kill my boyfriend.”

“‘M not dying, doofus. Just itchy. I’ve gotta go and get my antihistamine pills and cream as soon as I’m sure. But if you want I’ll let you kill Chad, if it will make you feel better.” Jensen managed a smile when Jared nodded seriously, and went back to looking for the label.

At last Jared came across a tiny scrap of material in the corner. “Got it. Ok, not real fur. Thank fuck for that. How about polyester? So that’s why you only wear cotton briefs, and there was me thinking it was all because of Dean’s tight jeans.” Jared watched Jensen’s eyebrow flick upwards. “Ok, not polyester. All there is now is wool and angora.”

He heard a groan. “Aw shit, I knew I should’ve checked the flea-bitten thing. I started to itch the first time I saw it. Then you threw it to the back of the wardrobe, and I forgot all about it. My own damn stupid fault.”

Jared frowned and thought about what Jensen was saying. It couldn’t be wool, not with Jensen’s collection of sweater vests. Then the answer dawned on him. “You’re allergic to angora? I always thought you just had a horror of fluffy sweaters.” He grinned, then heard that rasping breathing again and his smile dimmed.

“Shit, Jen, what can I do to help you?” Jared was channelling Sam when trying to get Dean to open up, and talk about his feelings. All concern and furrowed brow, his eyes reaching bambiesque proportions.

Jensen looked at the forlorn figure holding the throw. “Come on, before you start clutching me to your manly chest again, and start weeping over me. Like I said I just need my pills, a shower and then I’ll cover myself in antihistamine cream. Help me up, Sasquatch.” He held out his hand towards Jared.

Jensen smiled when Jared leapt to his feet, and bounded over to him in full mama bear mode now. Jared carefully pulled him to his feet, but before he could protest Jensen found himself being picked up and carried to the stairs.

“It’s my back that’s itchy. I haven’t lost the use of my legs, now put me down.” Jensen complained as Jared ignored him.

“Shut up and let me be over protective. I know you’ve got a kink for me being all cavemen over your precious ass. Now stay still so I can get upstairs.” Jensen took one look at Jared’s determined face, and stopped struggling. He decided to enjoy the ride, resting his head on Jared’s shoulder, fluttering his eyelashes and making Jared laugh.

By the time they reached the bedroom, Jared could feel his back protesting but it was worth it to take care of Jensen. “Ok, you said something about pills. Are they in the bathroom?”

Jensen nodded and Jared put him onto the bed, then ran to the bathroom. He tore open the cabinet, searching frantically. He found what he was searching for hiding behind a bottle of shampoo; there was a pack of tablets and a tube of cream. Jared filled a glass with water, and took the tablets to the bedroom.

He handed Jensen the glass and held up the packet of tablets. “How many?”

Jensen wheezed. “Three please, I’ll take some more in the morning.”

Jared pushed the tablets out, and passed them to Jensen. He threw them into his mouth, and swallowed some water. Jared took the glass off him and got Jensen back to his feet, ignoring the protests as he helped Jensen walk to the bathroom.

Jensen stood, bright red, wheezing and scratching desperately at his back. He caught Jared’s horrified expression in the mirror. “So do you still think I’m hot?” 

Jared had to admit Jensen had somewhat lost his allure. “Errr, well, would you be hurt if I said you looked like you’ve been attacked by a swarm of demonic bees?”

Jensen whimpered. “How could you, Jay? After what your rug did to me, now you’re saying I’m ugly. You keep that up and I’m calling Kane.” He looked down, trying not laugh at the strangled squeak he heard from Jared.

“No, not at all. It just looks painful, and for the love of god don’t call Kane! He still hasn’t forgiven me for the jellyfish.” Guilt and terror welled up at the thought of Kane paying a visit. The guy might be a midget but he fought dirty. He steeled himself. He was going to put this right before Jensen condemned him to be Kane’d to death. He opened the shower and helped Jensen inside.

“You just stand there, and I’ll get you cleaned up.” Jared prepared to climb in.

Jensen shook his head, “Relax, Jay, I’m kidding. I’ve no intention of ringing Kane to tell him I’m a moron for not telling you about my allergy. I’d never set him on someone I love. I keep the wrath of Kane for special occasions.” Jensen turned to stop Jared getting in with him. “I got some bad news, Jay. There’s gonna be no lovingly soaping me all over, just cold water. It cools my skin a little until the antihistamines kick in. You stay out there. There’s no point in both of us freezing our asses off.”

Jared threw back his shoulders and got in behind Jensen. “I’m not leaving you alone. We’ll suffer together.”

Jensen sighed and looked up at him. “My hero. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Jared gritted his teeth and reached past Jensen, setting the water to the coldest temperature and turned the shower on. The two men gasped in shock as the icy water hit them, and Jared pulled Jensen closer. He rubbed Jensen’s arms in a vain attempt to keep him warm as he shivered under the icy spray.

By the time Jensen said it was enough, Jared could barely feel his feet or fingers. Jensen’s teeth were chattering so hard, Jared was worried they’d have to call a dentist. They stumbled out of the shower, and Jared tore a towel off the rail and roughly dried himself off. He picked up a fresh towel and gently patted Jensen’s back dry, trying not to flinch when he saw the red raw skin.

Jensen looked into the mirror and saw the devastated look on Jared’s face. He smiled. “Come on, man, it’s not that bad. Believe me the first time it happened, I ended up looking like the Pillsbury doughboy after he’d spent too long on a sun bed. Now how about I cheer you up?”

Jared looked up morosely. How the hell could Jensen joke at a time like this? “This is all my fault and you want to cheer me up?”

Jensen sighed and rolled his eyes, “Ok now, why don’t we leave Sam and his emo puppy back on set? I’ve told you this was my fault, Jay. I should’ve told you I was allergic to angora.” He rubbed at the back of his neck, fighting the urge to scratch. “I mean, it’s not exactly macho to admit you can be brought to your knees by a fluffy sweater. But there you are - now you know you’re dating a delicate princess, you can mock me mercilessly forever.”

Jared managed a rueful smile as he stepped close to Jensen, being careful when he felt him tense. He put his hands on Jensen’s hips and lightly rested his chin on Jensen’s shoulder, kissing his neck. He gently stroked his thumbs over the curve of Jensen’s hip bones and whispered. “What? Me mock you? No, never, my darling Jenny.” He smirked when he saw Jensen pout at the hated nickname.“Now what was that about cheering me up?”

Jensen grinned and picked up the tube of antihistamine cream. “Do my back for me? I know it’s not the same as ravaging me in front of the fire, but I’m sure you can still have some fun.”

Jared straightened up, looked thoughtfully at Jensen then he grinned predatorily. Jensen swallowed thickly; he knew that smile. He wondered just what Jared intended to do next. He soon found out when Jared spun him round, and he found himself being lifted up and over Jared’s shoulder.

“Damnit, Padalecki, I’m a sick man! I get no respect around here.” He muttered to Jared’s ass as he was carried to the bed.

Jared put Jensen down, smiling as he pulled back the bedclothes. He pointed to the bed as he took the tube of cream off him. Jensen climbed onto the bed, waggled his ass and grinned over his shoulder. “Damn, you know I get all tingly when you take control. Are you gonna whip out the handcuffs again?” He lay down and waited for Jared to join him.

Jared laughed as he climbed on the bed. “Not likely. Remember the last time I tried that?”

Jensen looked coyly over his shoulder. “Why yes, I remember. You manhandled me into the bedroom, tore my clothes off and handcuffed me to the bed. Then you took advantage of me.” Jensen grinned happily. “In fact you took advantage of me three times. I screamed so much that Dean’s ‘Batman’ voice was born. God, that was a great night.”

“It was a great night until I realized I lost the key to the cuffs.” Jared knelt as close as he dared to Jensen, trying to be careful of the painful-looking rash on his body. He was happy Jensen was distracted by the memory. He could see Jensen’s broad shoulders shaking as he laughed.

“I think it was then we finally realized that Sam’s the one with the lock-picking talent. I thought you were going to break out a hack saw, and try to cut the cuffs off.” Jensen looked over his shoulder. “I never asked. What did you tell the locksmith who came to release me?”

Jared opened the antihistamine cream and squeezed some on his hands, and began gently applying the cream to Jensen’s heated skin. “I told him that my roommate had been having fun with his girlfriend. That you’d had a fight, and she’d stormed off, taking the keys with her.”

He heard Jensen laugh again.”Brilliant, Jay, worthy of Nate Ford.....ooohh God.” He moaned softly as Jared large hands swept gently over his back.

At first Jensen’s shoulders were tense under his fingers but as he continued to massage them, Jensen slowly relaxed. Jared’s hands slid lower and he heard Jensen whimper. He looked up and saw him biting his lip. Jensen loved having a massage; it was a damn shame about tonight. Any other time this would’ve led to something a lot more sensual. Instead, Jensen was going to be laid up in bed, and not in the fun way he’d planned.

Jared continued to smooth the cream into Jensen’s skin, doing his best to ease his boyfriend’s discomfort. Judging by the soft moans and sighs, he was well on the way to making up for yet another romantic disaster. Finally Jared had coated every inch of Jensen’s back and legs with the cream. And yes he might have taken a few extra seconds...alright, minutes, over the Eighth Wonder of the Natural World. Yup, that ass. Well, Jensen had promised something to cheer him up. 

Jared continued with his massage until he heard Jensen’s breathing even out. He carefully climbed off the bed, and pulled the bedclothes over him, letting him rest. Jared decided he’d better go downstairs, get Harley and Sadie settled for the night, and put out the candles. As much as he loved firefighters’ uniforms, he didn’t want to see one tonight. He had one more thing he wanted to do first; he went into the bathroom and ran cold water over a face cloth.

Jensen stirred; he could no longer hear Jared’s soft breathing, or feel his soothing touch anymore. He was lying on his side, covered in soothing antihistamine cream and there was a cool damp cloth over his now swollen eyes. He sighed with gratitude, smiling at Jared’s thoughtfulness; he’d have to thank him for the massage. He’d just have to try not to scratch his itching back, and ruin all of Jared’s good work. Then again he could always ask Jared to scratch the itch for him; he laughed to himself.

As Jared came back into the bedroom he heard a strange noise. It was exactly how he imagined Darth Vader would sound if he was having an asthma attack. He went from being content to panic stricken. “Oh God, Jensen! Are you alright? Speak to me!” He looked desperately round the room for his car keys, getting ready to throw Jensen into the car and tear off to the hospital. Obviously the medication wasn’t working.

Jensen lifted the dampened cloth and sighed as Jared changed direction and ran to the bed. It had sounded as if Jensen was taking a last agonized breath. Jensen managed a smile at Jared who now resembled a puppy who’d just been scolded for chewing the carpet. 

Jared folded his arms and huffed. “That’s it! I’m salting and burning the damn rug as soon as possible.”

Jensen waved him away, “Seriously, Jay, I’m fine. Listen. How about you wait a couple of days? And then you can burn the damn thing with me watching. I’ll even bring marshmallows.” He reached out and pulled Jared down onto the bed, moving as close to Jared as his itching, sore body would allow him.

He whispered in Jared’s ear. “And this time I’ll bring the rug, and we can try this again. I’ve always wanted to make love under the stars.”

Jared looked warily at Jensen’s puffy face. “Yeah, knowing my luck, we’ll probably be arrested for public indecency when the neighbours call the cops. Or we’ll get squished by a meteorite shower.” Jared folded his arms, looking sorry for himself.

Jensen covered them both with the duvet, and rested his hand on Jared’s chest. “You know, we should write a book about romance. How about the _Jared Padalecki Guide to Romance_? It would be a bestseller. All the fan girls would buy it, and of course we could get Misha to send his minions forth to the bookshops as well.”

“More like _Romance for Dummies_ , or better yet, How to _Kill the One you Love with Romance_.” Jared muttered morosely.

Jensen ran his fingers through Jared’s hair. “Ok. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. So what if there have been a few mishaps?”

Jared lifted his head. “A few mishaps? I’ve nearly killed you three times with my attempts at romance. First of all, I almost got you stung to death by jellyfish. Then you nearly choke on a ring I bought you. And this time I almost kill you with a fluffy rug!” Jared flung his arm across his eyes, and sighed dramatically.

Jensen propped himself up on his elbow. “That’s it! Ok, for a start did you deliberately put the jellyfish in the lake to sting me half to death?”

Jared looked mortified. “Of course not!”

“Ok, why did you put the ring in the cake? Did you have the urge to turn the show into the solo adventures of Sam Winchester?” 

Jared frowned. “It was because when I was buying Megan a birthday present, you saw the ring at the same time, and you loved it. I thought it would be a nice surprise for you. And there’s no way I’m putting myself completely at Ben and Sera’s mercies full time. You know the fan girls love to see you angst manly and you’re the only one who can get the car to behave. I swear the damn thing’s got a crush on you.”

Jensen nodded. “It’s good to know you don’t want the solo gig and you’re not a masochist. That my manly angsting is still needed, and of course, my baby loves me the most.” 

Jensen looked at Jared seriously. “And tonight, did you intend to pin me down to a rug made from a material I’m highly allergic to, causing me terrible pain and distress, and a case of hives so bad, it would have House running for the exit, screaming?”

Jared sat up. “Christ, Jen, all I wanted was a romantic night in front of the fire. Drink some beer, eat pizza, and take the opportunity to screw your brains out on a fur rug. I wasn’t expecting you to re-enact the end of Raiders and see your skin peel off.”

Jensen grinned and pulled Jared back down. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Jay. There was nothing wrong with the ideas. Every single one of them was thoughtful, romantic and tonight was, if you pardon the pun, hotter than hell. It’s just sometimes things go wrong, and tonight really was my fault. You had no idea my fatal weakness is a fluffy wabbit.” 

Jared carefully eased Jensen into his arms. “How about I give up on the romance, and just concentrate on screwing your brains out in future?” He brushed his fingers though Jensen’s short hair.

“As much as I love of the sound of that, please, Jay, don’t give up on me now. I love your attempts at romance. Even though you insist on treating me like a girl.” Jensen smiled as he rested his hand over Jared’s heart.

“You really mean that? You like my romantic surprises? Of course I treat you like a girl, it’s those eyelashes.” There was a hint of hope in Jared’s voice, and the usual wide smile started to reappear.

Jensen returned the smile, reaching out to caress Jared’s face, “Not all your surprises go bad. Remember the Garth Brookes concert you took me to? No greater love hath a man, than to listen to his guy’s favourite singer. Especially when his favourite band is Pearl Jam.”

Jared beamed at the praise for that night. It was true - country music wasn’t really his thing. But it had been a pleasure to watch Jensen as he enjoyed himself. They’d danced to the music, and managed a stolen kiss during the slower songs.

Jensen leant closer and his lips brushed gently against Jared’s. “Never change. Do you hear me? I love you just the way you are. Dangerous romantic adventures and all. So what’s next? Parachute jumping into the Grand Canyon, or white water rafting over Niagara Falls?”

Jared laughed gently. “Nothing like that. I was thinking more along the lines of snowboarding down Mount Everest. Now why don’t you get some rest, and tomorrow you’ll get breakfast in bed, and if I’m lucky you’ll let me massage you again.”

Jensen gave a long-suffering sigh. “I don’t know. Let you spoil me rotten all weekend? It will be difficult, but I suppose I could put up with it.” His eyes closed slowly and he yawned. “All this romance takes it out of a guy. I’m shattered.”

Jared pulled the duvet up higher, covering Jensen’s shoulders. He turned his head and reached out for the switch, turning off the light. He turned back and placed a kiss on top of Jensen’s head, resting his hand on top of Jensen’s. “Ok. I promise to spoil you rotten, and next weekend how about that rug BBQ?”

Jensen laughed softly. “That sounds great, but like I said, I’ll supply the rug this time. You just bring the prime Texan beef. I like to have something to chew on; just don’t get too close to the fire. I like my beef rare.”

Jared joined in with the laughter. “Sounds like a plan, now go to sleep. I want you well rested so I can pamper you senseless.” Jared heard Jensen yawn again, and waited for him to relax. As he lay there he gently stroked Jensen’s arm, soothing him to sleep. He yawned and as sleep began to pull him under, Jared wondered if he should tell Jensen all about the romantic weekend of bungee jumping he’d booked for them just yet.


End file.
